Tough Times Don’t Last, But Tough People Do
Dear Central Academy students and families,
My Uncle Danny passed away this month. He was 101 years old. Born in 1923, he came of age during the great depression. As a 19 year old serving in the U.S. Navy during World War II, he helped retrieve bodies and conduct burials at sea for many of the killed and missing U. S. soldiers after a ferocious battle on Tarawa, a small island in the Central Pacific Ocean. Of the 5,000 troops, over 2,000 were wounded and more than 1,000 killed or missing. It was gruesome, tough duty that shaped his outlook for the rest of his life. He spent a week searching, retrieving and burying bodies in the ocean. It was one if the longest and most meaningful weeks of his life.
My Uncle Danny always said, “Tough times don’t last, tough people do.” But his definition of “tough” may be different than you expect. By his example, being tough means seeing past your difficulties to do what was necessary and to be of service to others. His whole life was about service. He worked as a plumber when he came home from the war. But his nights and weekends were dedicated to volunteerism to aid fellow soldiers, the poor, the sick, the homeless, and the community at large through a variety of civic and faith-based organizations.
October tends to be the hardest month for students and faculty at Central Academy. By now, any procrastination is starting to catch up with people. And even if you didn’t procrastinate, the work is getting more complex (and some would say interesting). It can be hard to keep up with constant demands. Some students still don’t quite trust their teachers to be there when they get stuck. Some students aren’t sure how to ask the questions that they don’t realize others have, too. October is when we slip from the anticipation we felt at the start of the year into survival mode.
When in survival mode people start to feel alone in the work. Self-Confidence and optimism can be at risk. Some start to lose the confidence that they can handle whatever comes along with calm self-assurance and relaxed presence. The belief that “I have what it takes to influence my own destiny” might be shaken. It can be more difficult to see the positive, especially in negative situations. And our daily experiences might feel more punishing than opportunities to learn and grow. This October, with a major election just two weeks away, it may be easier to slip from survival mode into disillusionment. That’s when you may ask yourself, “why am I doing this?”
The tension in our community can be felt in our school. While most students are staff are managing themselves well, some are struggling in ways that are hard to see from the outside but can be felt in the vibe of the school. So, what can be done about it? Remember, tough times don’t last, but tough people do.
HOW TO BE “TOUGH”
First, when you get overwhelmed by the mountain you’re climbing, stop looking towards the far away peak and put your focus on the next step. Do little things that will prevent you from falling behind. For example, you may not be able to read the whole chapter that has been assigned. But you could just read for the 10 minutes you’re on the bus. Leave your future self a present by just doing something now that will make things easier for you later. Break big tasks down into small, 10 to 15-minute steps. Plan to take breaks.
Secondly, protect yourself from procrastination. Look for the activities that seem to be pulling you away from your responsibilities and minimize them. For example, if the constant anxiety from the news or social media is stressing you out, turn it off. Doomscrolling won’t help you and it will likely paralyze you. Set a timer so you don’t get carried away in the news feed (or TV streaming, or video gaming). Limit yourself to one or two newsletters (episodes or games). Recognize that you need personal renewal time, but procrastination is not personal renewal. How do you tell the difference? If you feel refreshed and ready when you’re done, it’s personal renewal. If you feel regret, dread, or stress when you’re done, it is procrastination.
Finally, be of service. My Uncle Danny had a long and purposeful life because he found ways to help those around him. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. Small acts of kindness can make a big difference. Things like doing the dishes or straightening up the living room, even if it is not your usual chore. Notice something good about someone and compliment them. Say thank you when someone does something for you. Make space in the conversation for someone else and invite their contribution. Notice others and treat them the way you would want to be treated. Form a study group with someone in your class that you might not know that well. Build and invest in relationships with those around you. My Uncle Danny was a quiet man. And he taught me so much by his consistent, life-long choice to serve.
I should mention that what comes after the survival mode (and/or disillusionment) stage is the reflective stage. That is the time when you think back over what has happened and consider what you will do the next time. And that leads back to the anticipation stage. Don’t get stuck in the low spot of the cycle. Be “tough”. Keep moving forward. There will be a breakthrough. If you get stuck, however, reach out. We have a whole school full of compassionate adults who can help.
Happy October, everybody! Stay steady. And remember, school is closed on November 4 and 5 for the election.
With love and appreciation,
Dr. Gogerty